Often, I get lost in my own mind… my own thoughts. To quote a friend of mine, “sometimes, I think I’m the only one who really knows how to love me. And sometimes, I feel like I’m the only one who really has the ability to see what’s really inside of me.”
Sometimes… I need to be reminded that that’s not true.. that I’m not alone… that others see the world beyond the black and white as well. The people closest to me remind me to see the colors… the bright, vibrant colors. And sometimes, I’m reminded that I’m not the only one that has suffered loss. I received the most amazing text a couple of days ago and it reminded me that although I may be the “Lone Wolf” in my mind. I’m not alone. Thank you for that.
I’d like to share HER (not my) thoughts… I paraphrase:
I sometimes think now, that if we really want to know, or be reminded who we are, then we should look no further than our roots.
Our family, our schools and no one knows us better than old friends.
We were pure at that time, we were real, you know, before life tarnished us and people damaged our hearts.
Somehow, we all wore our hearts on our sleeves back then. We all knew each other’s true personalities… what they really were and who we really were.
And that’s a safe place that not everyone gets the chance to go back to.
Friends become lost in time… family as well.
And sometimes, you get the opportunity to return to old friends… and for the first time in many years I felt like who I was meant to be rather then who I wanted to be.
So, you see… I’m not alone…
Someone else knows we are broken, jaded, hardened… We’ve loved, stumbled, and fell… but back then… we got right back up and did it again… and again. Because before we were broken… we had hope. The wonderful idea that everything will be all right. We moved on with blind, reckless abandon because we saw the color in a black and white world… Somewhere we lost that in the broken.
We drank in every moment, living in the now… with each other… and that was enough.
Then we grew older… broken, jaded, hardened…
Maybe that’s my problem… maybe that’s why I still see color… maybe that’s why I still have hope.
Maybe… I never grew up.
